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James Iry @jamesiry San Francisco, CA

Some people when faced with a problem think, I know, I'll use distributed computing. Now they have n^2 problems. Director of Software Engineering at Loyal3

236 Following   3,594 Followers   8,223 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/15/09

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Listening to a podcasted lecture by a guy who rolls his R's so hard I suspect it might be a lecture about machine guns.@jamie_allen Don't piss of that dog. The only thing worse than being maimed by a dog is being maimed by a dog wearing diapers.@puredanger @kf @swannodette NO! Now look what you've done! http://t.co/bgMo8mSrz1
Retweeted by James IryUsing a docker container inside a VM inside a VM. Outside the street is curling up into a giant wave. My top is still spinning.I'm frequently surprised when others share misconceptions I used to have. That's probably rooted in some kind of surprising misconception.After so much Haskell it's weird to see crazy tricks required in other languages for pattern matching on a pair http://t.co/UUE39h00Vd
Retweeted by James Iry@runarorama @iamwarry @propensive @huitseeker I know! 5 weeks DON'T have a Scala conference!! Not acceptable.
Retweeted by James Iry@deanwampler @iamwarry @propensive @huitseeker Heh. Well, aren't there already 47 different Scala conferences in SF this year?
Retweeted by James Iry
3/26
2015
You Cannot Have Exactly-Once Delivery :: well, at least we can have nice things :: http://t.co/ynqa7SvB7Z
Retweeted by James IryDaughter: "Do you know the muffin man?" Me: "Depends. Who wants to know?"“It eats my data routinely and I have to cron restart the daemon daily but I’m using it in production anyways because it’s written in Go”
Retweeted by James Iry@thefutureian So you nominate AMQP as TWHATTIAC?@steveklabnik @ag_dubs @bodil Either joke past tense of "think" or imagined sound of data hitting a register. Sources disagree.Non-coders:A merge conflict is when 2+ coders change some code at the same time.It's THE WORST.Means you gotta read someone else's code. Ew.
Retweeted by James Iry
3/25
2015
A brief, incomplete, and mostly right history of Direct3D vs OpenGL. http://t.co/gMgpgn145A@campster Very ironic considering http://t.co/aKBuTteJcH@raganwald LPRs aren't trackers: they capture"momentary, point in time info."Also, movies don't cap motion. Each frame is a momentary point.@raganwald @fogus remember when we called Twitter a microblogging service? -- microauthor@SlateGist Anodynamo #NotAMovie
3/24
2015
@BigDataSc @PaulTypes what about the ones who like flatMap because it reminds of (x map f).flattenAsymptote: a bag for carrying a simulation of your butt.@fogus I get my own trailer and a bowl full of nothing but blue M&Ms or no deal.@fogus THAT'S LITERALLY THE STUPIDEST IDEA I'VE EVER HAD THE DISPLEASURE OF READING! (How am I doing so far?)OH: "Hardware eventually fails. Software eventually works."
3/23
2015
Some things encourage lateral thinking. E.g. after studying this code I think I'll go get lateral on the couch until my headache passes."Boom, no scope alpha waves!" "Learn 2 Meditate, scrub" "Peace PWNED" "DO U EVEN YOGA BRO?" Multiplayer Online Mindfulness
3/22
2015
When I say "vaccinations save lives" and you tweet back at me with some guff, here, this is for you http://t.co/A1sDnoLo5q
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3/21
2015
OH: "I've been using VIM for about 2 years now, mostly because I can't figure out how to quit."@dickwall I would vote for @heathercmiller but there's that whole pumpkin incident to consider.
3/19
2015
Be prepared. http://t.co/dKc6F0OLh5@fogus It was a Tarantino movie: Invictus BastardsI think sometimes I overgeneralize from a single example. Just like everybody else in the universe.Oh Microsoft. Voice assistant: Cortana Next browser: Spartan http://t.co/dGzRRqbjIP Next OS version? The Covenant? 343 Guilty Spark?Electrical engineering 101 -- 4chan edition. http://t.co/Kg41MtdY23
Retweeted by James IryThe account that just offered to sell me followers has no followers. That's why robots won't take over the world: they hate each other.My next t-shirt is "What Would Oleg Do?" No, that's not right. It's "Wait, What Did Oleg Just Do?"
3/18
2015
@sigfpe @djspiewak I just checked the authoritative source and apparently even he does not cover () https://t.co/EwVKVF8ABe@bodil what, never?.@deanwampler just tried to pitch "the uber of sewage" to me. Told him I'm in but only if I get a seat on the board.One of the perks of writing about Rust is that if you screw up and write gibberish, people just assume you're using last week's compiler.
Retweeted by James IryComputer Science: "In low-level languages like C" Computer Engineering: "In high-level languages like C"
Retweeted by James Iry
3/17
2015
.@heathercmiller says all that's left in her PhD dissertation is moving all the copied papers' abstracts to the back to make a bibliography.People sometimes ask me if it is a sin in the Church of Emacs to use vi. Using a free version of vi is not a sin; it is a penance.
Retweeted by James Iry@runarorama Looking forward to meeting in person!Winner for the best session title ever? @NASA_Dawn #LPSC2015 #Ceres http://t.co/Z0D0fhyyst
Retweeted by James IryEverywhere I look computer monitors are lifted up by books. Authors and trees weep.@viktorklang Let it crash.
3/16
2015
I define Acronym Denotation Tension (ADT) to be the phenomenon where one acronym is routinely used to denote each of two opposed concepts.
Retweeted by James Iry@pigworker You mean Acronym Denotation Transparency (ADT) where an acronym so clearly denotes a concept that it cannot possibly be confused?
Retweeted by James Iry
3/15
2015
My secret suspicions about French are proven true. THERE IS JUST ONE WORD IN THIS LANGUAGE http://t.co/NJ0PoxAHJ7
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3/14
2015
Swedish Reggae is a thing. I know because it's impacting on my ears at this very moment.Bumper Sticker of the MILLENNIUM http://t.co/QsL06wOEQM
Retweeted by James IryBoulder has started advertising it’s (already popular) bike share system as “Uber for hippies”. Words fail me.
Retweeted by James Iry@propensive @bodil DO NOT MOCK THE CHEEZE WHIZ, GOD AMONG THE CANNED PROCESSED AERESOL SPREADS@bodil At least they don't have American "cheese." Srsly, how can I yell 'fuck yeah America' and mean it when we call that stuff cheese?
3/13
2015
@jamie_allen MEHsos works too.Forensic analysis showed that the attacker was somehow circumventing RFC 3514.That fire drill reminded me what the fortune teller said: "you will die a fiery death in a stairwell surrounded by sweaty strangers."Social Security Number: the 100% totally secret number that you give to everybody who asks for it.
3/12
2015
@munificentbob Ligatures are kerning dialed to 11. Monospace is kerning dialed to 0. A monospace ligature is an abomination.The only two emoji I need are 'FACEPALM' and 'DOUBLE FACEPALM.' Let's make them real.
Retweeted by James Iry@built I build all my personal Linux distros around busybox http://t.co/ckrjOJPiID@jamesiry Why say Linux when it's GNU/Linux? https://t.co/l8feP1FEHE
Retweeted by James Iry@deech My first linux install was Slackware. From floppies. I'm such a hipster. Or old.Can't set up a new box because the Apple App Store is having problems. Let's go back to floppies.@tomaspetricek I periodically insert "assert 2 + 2 == 4" in my code. You can never be too careful.TIL that in WWII Japan bombed the mainland US using balloons http://t.co/UtdurU0LUN
3/11
2015
@nuttycom Because "false"@lagergren Real professionals delete code to fix bugs.This is what my engineers send around and crack up about. Seriously considering calling in our corporate therapist http://t.co/hPoDhOL1rL
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3/10
2015
Atlas Thugged http://t.co/uFyPiMoN3DFor only $10k you too can have crippling buyer's remorse.@munificentbob Oh, sure, yeah, it's your KIDS who are being grumpy assholes. #projection #denial #grumpyassholesIf you're near SF on 24 Mar you should pop by & say hello to some friends of mine who know a lot about saying hello: http://t.co/xSmZ0mbN9O
Retweeted by James Iry@mralancooper @jacremes "I'd totally tap that resource," said the head of marketing, offering a high five to his uncomfortable intern.International Women's Day was an hour shorter due to Daylight Saving Time. Women can't even get equity in hours per day.https://t.co/NHgeHePbOX I can watch this all day. It's like a particle effect in real life. Because it's literally a bunch of particles.
Retweeted by James Iry"Cows don't know what time is it. Because they're cows. And cows are idiots." http://t.co/vlPLl3dSpS
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3/9
2015
Unsuccessful at getting pet to ride cleaner. You can lead a horse to iRobot, but you cannot make it want to be Internet famous.Old war. New battlefield. #mathjoke http://t.co/TvWxI0h8Xw
Retweeted by James Iry
3/7
2015
@built If you fund me at the $10,000,000 level I'll give you a tshirt.@built I have technology that can totally print pancakes from your phone. Please fund me.@harryh I had the same thing happen. Wisdom tooth went sideways into a molar. Both had to be ejected for unsportsmanlike conduct.Scala Symposium 2015 call for papers is up: http://t.co/bPTkbEgrd8 - June 13-14 in Portland. Submit!
Retweeted by James Iry@littlecalculist Maybe my wife filled it out and never informed me of that piece of official absurdism.@littlecalculist I never had to fill out a form like that. That's awesome. And weird.@jamesiry S's implicit attack on the law of the excluded middle is a stroke of genius. Stupid T.
Retweeted by James Iry@plt_hulk You're alive!@raganwald Intolerance is much more likely to breed schism than alliance.T: "Ask anything. There are no stupid questions" S: "Are there stupid questions?" T: "I just told you there weren't! What a stupid question"
3/6
2015
@tomaspetricek What do type theorists, Javascript developers, and bigots have in common…@ReagentProject >> 1st SF/Bay Area Reagent Meetup Announced :) http://t.co/O3NiFIB5VM
Retweeted by James IryThis morning's moon setting over the bay and Oakland https://t.co/K2XVf9uTwm
Retweeted by James Iry
3/5
2015
@peterseibel A reward plan based on bonobo social structure might violate your company's core HR rules.If the hardest CS problems are naming things and cache invalidation, pity the poor schlubs who have to name cache invalidation schemes.
3/4
2015
Backdoors that Nobody But Us can exploit, unless someone else figures it out, too, part 237: http://t.co/8ret0r2GS4
Retweeted by James Iry@jamesiry I think that's how the R garbage collector works
Retweeted by James IryGarbage collection illustrated http://t.co/NPMLzTFDYHA weasel riding a bird. For some reason, this reminded me of you, @pmorelli :) #WeaselPecker https://t.co/3WfuY8nzeR
Retweeted by James IryThankfully we're entering an era when you can be a software old timer without ever having used punch cards.
3/3
2015
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