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Erin Markey @ErinMarkey New York, NY

::a rat a tat tat:: @oneninehundredcake on instagram

948 Following   2,356 Followers   7,040 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/9/09

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Who wants to kickstart my new ceramic angels series called They Wouldn't Buy My Clothes Because My License ExpiredA list of companies who I support by offering them a one way Peter Pan bus ride to hell -Buffalo ExchangeLast night I picked up 8,000 followers just by tweeting the word speculum
@JonRua yea god@JonRua if u r in any way involved u r a dweeb. Guilty.@JonRua hopped up on twitter adrenaline like some kind of theater dweeb@FeldmanAdam so far it's just me and your stirrups but that sounds right cause i've spent a week on a dude ranch before@ErinMarkey can anybody make sure Michelle Obama knows this is on the tableJust a quick show of hands: If i curate a Speculum Comedy Night how many artists are interested in showing work@stellafolz the yellow wallpaper too@NOTCHRISTYLER do u know his number i'll txt him right nowHow fast could a song called Remember When I Made You Buy Me A Speculum move to the Billboard 40 cuz i'll only write it if i like my oddsWow if u cant even fav my speculum tweet how can I be assured that if you were my theoretical employer you would give me maternity leaveDo you think a back alley abortionist would buy this if I put it on craigslist? I HAD to have this… https://t.co/oeB1I05sV9@redrabbitnyc do it bunny@tperzyk @periscopeco even with me droid@tperzyk @periscopeco girl, what IS this shizI feel like valerie solonas shot me too but guess what i'm gonna praise her like I shoooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuld
Single straight men know that the cheapest way to be an expert is in hot sauce connoisseurship
well i guess my new life is watching kate bush intervews on youtube. gonna miss you guys. please sign my yearbook's crack.I can’t consciously remember being in the womb. when I try, I remember scenes from Look Who’s Talking starring John Travolta & Kirstie Alley
We sure did puffy paint those sam n libbys' at the end of the driveway
Just found out my journal considers me "the Michael Crawford of our time." Feeling validated.
An Empire/House of Cards merger like Flintstones meet the Jetsons but Doug Stamper is still Phantom of the OperaReaching my step goal on my pedometer makes it easy to forget that house of cards murdered a sex worker to liberate a First Lady.@NOTCHRISTYLER derek??I think that makes Claire Underwood the Raoul.@NOTCHRISTYLER I think doug?or is Doug Stamper the new Keyser SozeIs Doug Stamper the Phantom of the Opera
I was a peer mediator in high school so I feel like I got this.Just saw Slenderman in South Slope. Anyone have prison contact info for middle school girls who stabbed their friend trying to find him?
@ErinMarkey happy international women's day, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlon a bolt bus using entirety of my data plan to stream phantom of the opera soundtrack. Enter at last master!
They narrowed the hiring down based on how many times applicants abused the phrase *flavor profile*
I heard there were two abortion rooms in that immersive theater experienceI'm snowing really hardI too am writing a shellfish allergy comedy
"You are still a virgin until your dad puts it in you." -@bridgeteverett
@ErinMarkey and that's why I still believe in youI know that u seriously used to be posh spicethe jesus i believe in judges you when you don't come to his shows. WWJD
i think i'm scaring the people at this law firm doing impressions of people who spill food all over themselves while making struggle noisesPowersuit Baby 2016 http://t.co/EzLp7a8UkA via @thecutme challenge #thedress to ice bucket challengeif i had a tail fin i'd be slapping the floor nonstopSuch a beautiful feature on #trans elders by @thisisjorge on @ThisIsFusion http://t.co/dVdArKexkK http://t.co/nGizNoHG2o
Retweeted by Erin Markey
Standing sad in clearance valentine aisle at CVS carrying 40 super tampons. slumped over stuffed frogs. Behind me its full price easter.Mature cheddaron F train this morn: crammed up against a guy reading a Hamilton review in the New Yorker with an accidental pube bookmark tween the pages
i just drank an entire brown bottle's worth of Vitamin D drops. JK but i looked at one at Amazon and found out it's net worth
cool thing abt #TheBachelor : it's a place 4 unapologotic exhibitionists 2 fully express themselves. It's big of Disney 2 embrace fetishwatching an actual television and observing that 100% of commercials aren't for GEICO. Should I buy tckts to Lion King? Not sure how 2 dealI guess I just liked the grammy controversies better@AndrewAndrew date night?@AndrewAndrew eating taco salad, thinking of you.the most powerful moment of the Oscars was the ITW witch clip. it spoke a little more sincerely 2 wage equality & I stand by that.I wish they would have let Ashley S host the oscarsTend to MY daughter pleaseJonathan Taylor Thomas Fan Club President Steps Down After 21-Year Term: http://t.co/IBFwovt26v http://t.co/LOolfVR5w0
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyI told you Peter Pan Live would win.Lady Gaga vs Julie Andrews #Oscars2015 #Oscars http://t.co/4fj2RWRqfG
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyDo u think they will makeout like madonna and britney
@michaelcavadias http://t.co/AJGuXLe1vvI want anna kendricks to be my ASMR queenI voted for peter pan live in every category and now i'm worried i'm not gonna win :(@maxjenkinsyall also am I to believe that meryl is a legal sex in californiaWe need to be grateful for what meryl just didAre there LED lights in his nipplesAn old man helped me across the black ice last night.
My printer tries hard and wants to do well and that is what counts.Marketing wise, do you think I should name my new band nirvana or just do something like erin#FiftyShadesOfGrey mostly read to me like a 2 hour Bachelor/Batman inspired Apple commercial geared toward Seattle tourism.@AnthonyBLSmith let's milk this@AnthonyBLSmith yesh!!
@JustinSayreCHM @GayCityNews @KleaBlackhurst @MissMollyPope @benrimalower @JoesPub it's a sign. we need to groundhog day that show.
@andrewnielson mmm@richmaxwell hahahahahaThis #fratsister just ordered a Double Daddy@ThinkFord1st nursery ideas@ThinkFord1st oooh i wanna name an album or my first child Nasty SprinklesIf you are against naming our IVF twins Righty Tighty and Leftt Loosey then I am going to have to swipe leftNew Podcast! Live from our living room w/ @ErinMarkey, Niko & a studio audience! https://t.co/3Q7vjbf4CR
Retweeted by Erin Markey
Starting development on a new reality series called Santa Makeout and looking for backers LMK #OKi've been asked 2 ghostwrite a book for rick santorum should i do it the pay is not good but they told me you learn a ton about ghostwriting
@FeldmanAdam eh. that beggin commercial and the half second of maya angelou singing on the in memoriam tribute walked away with the crown@FeldmanAdam @tanyaodebra adam don't even bring it up. i am so full of worms all i can do is can them and put them in my bomb shelter.#robyncrawfordit should be part of the rules that they have to honor whitney houston every year otherwise i don't get the point of any of this
i think the patriots are gonna win btwi think you should have to put your lesbian performance art time in before you hit it big not after@perfectlildani hahahahahahahahahahaha great now i'm going to lose my jobi heard christine baranski and beyonce are doing something together tonight because jay z is watching blue ivy@perfectlildani i wasn't pleased with itis this the frasier theme song or notShe sounds great and looks good but @katyperry is wearing @solangeknowles wedding dress #Grammys2015 http://t.co/rnehxVKbYc
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyShe forgot to sing this part http://t.co/KfOfWqqj7LMISSY WHERE ARE YOUcue lenny kravitz
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