Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, and they’re spectacular. http://t.co/rJNCGU9GhH
One more: Pantsuits you can believe in... https://t.co/I18hWWwXCu.@HillaryClinton is on my NYC premiere. http://t.co/q4k6N9NBv8Happy #ThrowbackThursday! #TBT http://t.co/AucyFIIxNYIf this isn’t on his Tinder profile, he has seriously missed an opportunity. http://t.co/wrJOkvnEW45 more days! 5 more days! Season 13 is almost here. #EllenInNYC http://t.co/1x9RTOLKKI
Happy #YoureWelcomeWednesday http://t.co/4U8raYOUGoI can’t wait to meet this incredible young woman. Premiere Week starts in 6 days! #MalalaOnEllen http://t.co/bQGRG3Y7P8Happy birthday to my brother, Vance. I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. http://t.co/omGjw9Luv06 days to Season 13! Premiere Week starts in LA & ends in NYC! I’m so excited. I haven’t been bicoastal since college http://t.co/wHNwaexHyL
I love @StJude. That’s why I’m helping them raise awareness for pediatric cancer. #ShowYourGold #JustKeepDancing http://t.co/kPJt98yarnSome people prefer suntan lotion, but whatever gets the job done. http://t.co/VHXXIamZw7I’m so sorry. That was supposed to say, I can’t wait to see your new movie, “Grandma.”Happy birthday @LilyTomlin! I can’t wait to see your new movie, Grandma.1 week from today! Premiere Week kicks off in L.A. & then we finish it out in the Big Apple thanks to #VisaCheckout! http://t.co/xtaE6CsEzv
Season 13 starts one week from tomorrow! I’ll be there soon NYC! #EllenInNYC http://t.co/fCkoDrPR26Thank you, @TaylorSwift13 for donating the proceeds from the “Wildest Dreams” video to the animals. & thank you @ScottEastwood for being youVincent makes a great babysitter. So long as he doesn’t actually sit on the baby. http://t.co/fjZJseBrCgMrs. Portia de Rossi #MyTypeIn4Words
Happy #CatPhotoFriday! Yep. That’s adorable. http://t.co/5Ilnp8iYbHWhere’s the best place to make scones? The yeast coast. #ClassicJokeFridayZero was a concept invented by the Babylonians, Mayans, and Indians. Thanks for nothing, guys. #ClassicJokeFriday11 more days until my Season 13 premiere. Don’t miss @JimmyFallon during premiere week! #EllenInNYC http://t.co/FqtK2dF0FKSo THAT’s what you mean. @JustinBieber https://t.co/8uSZU4aG39
Being adorable is exhausting. http://t.co/C2xHc6Z8jSAny Ellen Shop purchase means you could win tix to my show. Buy a mug & I might see your mug in my audience. http://t.co/G6j3wDPe4wHappy #YoureWelcomeWednesday http://t.co/GHlWUEFOE9Happy birthday, @MelissaMcCarthy! The world is a funnier, more beautiful, and more loving place with you in it.13 days until my Season 13 premiere! NYC, I’m coming for ya. #EllenInNYC http://t.co/g9vPwKAn1wMy heart goes out to the two journalists who were shot in Virginia this morning. My show airs on @WDBJ7 every day. Sending love to you all.
.@TigNotaro’s comedy special is tonight on HBO. Watch if you like comedy, or jokes, or funny things, or laughing a lot. If not, skip it.
I #vote for @beaglefreedom to get $500k. I also vote for every charity to get $500k. Is that an option? #UpgradeYourWorldSorry for the delay, @BenFalcone. I was just tweeting with @HillaryClinton. https://t.co/ZPC4uqKkr7Girls can be anything they want to be. Even President of the United States. https://t.co/oD49R54jT0Did you hear about the guy who was addicted to the hokey pokey? I’m happy to say he turned himself around. #ClassicJokeFridayFun Fact: @MelissaMcCarthy’s love interest in Bridesmaids is her real-life husband! Funner Fact: He just joined Twitter. Welcome @BenFalconeDid you hear about the guy who invented the door knocker? He won the no-bell prize. #ClassicJokeFridayI do a great robot. #DragMeDownMusicVideoIsOut @OneDirection http://t.co/9FrcWcqRNIIf you missed my @QVC Harvest Show last night, you can get it all right here. Happy harvesting! http://t.co/jMg7Y4lavdJust had a @Starbucks scone & a delicious @Oprah Chai. Also had an Oprah biscuit, an Oprah fruit cup & Oprah fondue. I had brunch at Oprah’s
Happy #ThrowbackThursday #TBT http://t.co/y9mLNmc7fQWhat do you mean, what do I mean, "What Do You Mean?" That’s Justin’s new single. "What Do You Mean." I mean really. https://t.co/abOzlWV1AdThis is the best reason I’ve ever seen to eat your Wheaties. Congratulations, Leah Still. You are a champion. http://t.co/6AiEujHtvvSending love to all the families and all the firefighters working so hard on these fires. Thank you for all you do.I love this. @vaguelyfunnydan http://t.co/C29V7Fv2ad.@Kelly_Clarkson is pregnant! Sending you love while you gestate. I gestate, too. I gestate a breakfast burrito.
Happy #YoureWelcomeWednesday! http://t.co/NaFQ6xExdCGroundbreaking news, everyone. El Niño will be coming to Los Angeles. That’s right. @JustinBieber is gonna be on my premiere week.Happy birthday, @BillClinton! I'm talking to your wife on my premiere week. Just thought you should know in case you want to set your DVR.It’s World Humanitarian Day! Let’s celebrate those who devote their lives to making the world a better place for us, and all of humanitary.
Mission Impossible, eat your heart out. https://t.co/y2f8cudU8ACan’t wait to bring another wonderful Disney character to life. All I’m asking for is an audition. http://t.co/TUQypFTw5U#VisaCheckout is taking my whole show to NYC and you could come with us! Seriously. I hope you’re packed. http://t.co/iITm1NXJV3Get ready. My NYC premiere shows will be at 30 Rock! It’ll be just like the tree lighting ceremony, except the only thing lit will be me.These 3 women are changing the world. They’re also on my premiere week, starting September 8th. http://t.co/LIfey50L6C
I went with this one! #EDbyEllen #TeenChioceAwards http://t.co/FgibZbTBiuThank you to all the teens who chose me. I'll see ya for my Season 13 premiere on September 8th! Peace out, yo. #TeenChoiceAwardsGetting ready to go to the #TeenChoiceAwards. Which #EDbyEllen piece will I wear? http://t.co/2J0l5WoqlWH-B-D @MADONNA! Sun-Day-Brunch. YOU WANNA? #HappyBirthdayMadonna
It’s Clear the Shelters Day. I hope everyone gets to know the joy of adopting a rescue pet. There’s no better feeling.Happy birthday, Jennifer Lawrence! You make 25 look great. Who am I kidding? You make everything look great.
Benjamin Franklin tried to figure out how lightning worked. Then it struck him. #ClassicJokeFridayBrothers can be a real drag. http://t.co/i4UGMMZrGXDid you hear about the circle who joined the Knights of the Round Table? They called him Sir Cumference. #ClassicJokeFridayHappy birthday, Halle Berry! I hope it’s full of surprises. http://t.co/dTljudfXIg
I think I just found your new 5th member, @OneDirection. https://t.co/QtvmYdITbJED on Air is back on @QVC tonight at 10pm ET! Tune in and check out all of my items perfect for fall. You’ll be like, “Oh my gourd!”All she needs now is a tiny, tiny daiquiri. http://t.co/199czQtuDPHappy #LeftHandersDay, @BarackObama, @Oprah, & my EPs @EdGlavin & @MaryConnelly. Thank you for all of your beautifully smudged notes.Don’t worry, Tom. Season 13 premieres September 8th. http://t.co/3ss0CsvE5t
Happy #YoureWelcomeWednesday! http://t.co/tKLua7les8This is hilarious. http://t.co/fBJjztfY4GThis is a reason why I don’t eat meat. Warning: The video in this story is hard to watch. http://t.co/0oTBDgoSEzEllen Shop summer sale! This plate holder is guaranteed to get you out of parking tkts (guarantee void in US & Guam). http://t.co/H777cdD3EBIt’s #WorldElephantDay! I wanted to make sure you didn’t forget. Unless you’re an elephant. Then I know you didn’t forget.Lauren and Andy are in front of the Museum of Natural History with a pair of tix to my NY shows. If you can find them first, they're yours.What better way to launch Season 13 than with a new song that @Pink wrote just for me? Today’s the day! http://t.co/7qRrrzf5tZ
That was sweet of her to do. http://t.co/DLMRPyHzTUIt’s time for a fresh, new round of Epic or Fail. If you have a video like one of these, post it on @ellentube! http://t.co/Su9CNOzeDkIf you have an animal selfie, send it to me! If this is an animal, give it to a person & tell them to send it to me. http://t.co/hRx6j90Gd3.@AndyLassner & @Pommyrantz are in NYC getting ready for premiere week. They may have tkts to the show. They may not. http://t.co/Kiqf35QZboHappy Birthday @ChrisHemsworth & @ViolaDavis! That gives me a great idea: You know who should be on "How to Get Away with Murder"? Thor.