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Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, and they’re spectacular.

36,715 Following   47,054,486 Followers   10,925 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/14/08

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4 days until I'm kicking off Season 13! #EllenInNYC was so happy I got a chance to talk face to face with @Caitlyn_Jenner. Her journey is fascinating.
One more: Pantsuits you can believe in... is on my NYC premiere. #ThrowbackThursday! #TBT this isn’t on his Tinder profile, he has seriously missed an opportunity. more days! 5 more days! Season 13 is almost here. #EllenInNYC
Happy #YoureWelcomeWednesday can’t wait to meet this incredible young woman. Premiere Week starts in 6 days! #MalalaOnEllen birthday to my brother, Vance. I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. days to Season 13! Premiere Week starts in LA & ends in NYC! I’m so excited. I haven’t been bicoastal since college
I love @StJude. That’s why I’m helping them raise awareness for pediatric cancer. #ShowYourGold #JustKeepDancing people prefer suntan lotion, but whatever gets the job done.’m so sorry. That was supposed to say, I can’t wait to see your new movie, “Grandma.”Happy birthday @LilyTomlin! I can’t wait to see your new movie, Grandma.1 week from today! Premiere Week kicks off in L.A. & then we finish it out in the Big Apple thanks to #VisaCheckout!
Season 13 starts one week from tomorrow! I’ll be there soon NYC! #EllenInNYC you, @TaylorSwift13 for donating the proceeds from the “Wildest Dreams” video to the animals. & thank you @ScottEastwood for being youVincent makes a great babysitter. So long as he doesn’t actually sit on the baby. Portia de Rossi #MyTypeIn4Words
The world has lost an incredible man. Wayne Dyer officiated our wedding & was an inspiration to so many. Sending love 9 more days to the season premiere! NYC, I hope you’re ready. I’m coming during premiere week! #EllenInNYC
It’s 10 days and counting to Season 13! Don’t miss my two episodes in NYC during premiere week! #EllenInNYC
Happy #CatPhotoFriday! Yep. That’s adorable.’s the best place to make scones? The yeast coast. #ClassicJokeFridayZero was a concept invented by the Babylonians, Mayans, and Indians. Thanks for nothing, guys. #ClassicJokeFriday11 more days until my Season 13 premiere. Don’t miss @JimmyFallon during premiere week! #EllenInNYC THAT’s what you mean. @JustinBieber
Happy #ThrowbackThursday #TBT feel so bad about my role in Usain Bolt’s little accident. days and counting to Season 13. #EllenInNYC
Being adorable is exhausting. Ellen Shop purchase means you could win tix to my show. Buy a mug & I might see your mug in my audience. #YoureWelcomeWednesday birthday, @MelissaMcCarthy! The world is a funnier, more beautiful, and more loving place with you in it.13 days until my Season 13 premiere! NYC, I’m coming for ya. #EllenInNYC heart goes out to the two journalists who were shot in Virginia this morning. My show airs on @WDBJ7 every day. Sending love to you all.
I love scaring people. Especially in a museum. did Homer Simpson say when he checked his stocks this morning? DOW! Too soon?These are some lucky kids. just made my day. @TaylorSwift13
If you’ve got a @GapKids x ED outfit on for your #FirstDayOfSchool, I wanna see it! #HeyWorldHappy #MondayMotivation! got off the phone with my investment broker. Wow. Somebody’s got a case of the Mondays. #NYSE
.@TigNotaro’s comedy special is tonight on HBO. Watch if you like comedy, or jokes, or funny things, or laughing a lot. If not, skip it.
I #vote for @beaglefreedom to get $500k. I also vote for every charity to get $500k. Is that an option? #UpgradeYourWorldSorry for the delay, @BenFalcone. I was just tweeting with @HillaryClinton. can be anything they want to be. Even President of the United States. you hear about the guy who was addicted to the hokey pokey? I’m happy to say he turned himself around. #ClassicJokeFridayFun Fact: @MelissaMcCarthy’s love interest in Bridesmaids is her real-life husband! Funner Fact: He just joined Twitter. Welcome @BenFalconeDid you hear about the guy who invented the door knocker? He won the no-bell prize. #ClassicJokeFridayI do a great robot. #DragMeDownMusicVideoIsOut @OneDirection you missed my @QVC Harvest Show last night, you can get it all right here. Happy harvesting! had a @Starbucks scone & a delicious @Oprah Chai. Also had an Oprah biscuit, an Oprah fruit cup & Oprah fondue. I had brunch at Oprah’s
Happy #ThrowbackThursday #TBT do you mean, what do I mean, "What Do You Mean?" That’s Justin’s new single. "What Do You Mean." I mean really. is the best reason I’ve ever seen to eat your Wheaties. Congratulations, Leah Still. You are a champion. love to all the families and all the firefighters working so hard on these fires. Thank you for all you do.I love this. @vaguelyfunnydan is pregnant! Sending you love while you gestate. I gestate, too. I gestate a breakfast burrito.
Happy #YoureWelcomeWednesday! news, everyone. El Niño will be coming to Los Angeles. That’s right. @JustinBieber is gonna be on my premiere week.Happy birthday, @BillClinton! I'm talking to your wife on my premiere week. Just thought you should know in case you want to set your DVR.It’s World Humanitarian Day! Let’s celebrate those who devote their lives to making the world a better place for us, and all of humanitary.
Everyone’s excited for my season premiere. Some people might be a little too excited. Season 13 starts September 8th! announced that they’re adding real pumpkin to their Pumpkin Spice Latte. My pumpkins have been real since 1958.#Chillin
Mission Impossible, eat your heart out.’t wait to bring another wonderful Disney character to life. All I’m asking for is an audition. is taking my whole show to NYC and you could come with us! Seriously. I hope you’re packed. ready. My NYC premiere shows will be at 30 Rock! It’ll be just like the tree lighting ceremony, except the only thing lit will be me.These 3 women are changing the world. They’re also on my premiere week, starting September 8th.
I went with this one! #EDbyEllen #TeenChioceAwards you to all the teens who chose me. I'll see ya for my Season 13 premiere on September 8th! Peace out, yo. #TeenChoiceAwardsGetting ready to go to the #TeenChoiceAwards. Which #EDbyEllen piece will I wear? @MADONNA! Sun-Day-Brunch. YOU WANNA? #HappyBirthdayMadonna
It’s Clear the Shelters Day. I hope everyone gets to know the joy of adopting a rescue pet. There’s no better feeling.Happy birthday, Jennifer Lawrence! You make 25 look great. Who am I kidding? You make everything look great.
Benjamin Franklin tried to figure out how lightning worked. Then it struck him. #ClassicJokeFridayBrothers can be a real drag. you hear about the circle who joined the Knights of the Round Table? They called him Sir Cumference. #ClassicJokeFridayHappy birthday, Halle Berry! I hope it’s full of surprises.
I think I just found your new 5th member, @OneDirection. on Air is back on @QVC tonight at 10pm ET! Tune in and check out all of my items perfect for fall. You’ll be like, “Oh my gourd!”All she needs now is a tiny, tiny daiquiri. #LeftHandersDay, @BarackObama, @Oprah, & my EPs @EdGlavin & @MaryConnelly. Thank you for all of your beautifully smudged notes.Don’t worry, Tom. Season 13 premieres September 8th.
Happy #YoureWelcomeWednesday! is hilarious. is a reason why I don’t eat meat. Warning: The video in this story is hard to watch. Shop summer sale! This plate holder is guaranteed to get you out of parking tkts (guarantee void in US & Guam).’s #WorldElephantDay! I wanted to make sure you didn’t forget. Unless you’re an elephant. Then I know you didn’t forget.Lauren and Andy are in front of the Museum of Natural History with a pair of tix to my NY shows. If you can find them first, they're yours.What better way to launch Season 13 than with a new song that @Pink wrote just for me? Today’s the day!
That was sweet of her to do.’s time for a fresh, new round of Epic or Fail. If you have a video like one of these, post it on @ellentube! you have an animal selfie, send it to me! If this is an animal, give it to a person & tell them to send it to me. & @Pommyrantz are in NYC getting ready for premiere week. They may have tkts to the show. They may not. Birthday @ChrisHemsworth & @ViolaDavis! That gives me a great idea: You know who should be on "How to Get Away with Murder"? Thor.
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